


Can Your Heart Still Break If It Already Stopped Beating?

by MorganasCrow



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Girls Kissing, Girls with Guns, Shooting Guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 15:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4310997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganasCrow/pseuds/MorganasCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana, a victim of domestic violence, tries to escape and start again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can Your Heart Still Break If It Already Stopped Beating?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired with the novel "Rose Madder" by Stephen King.  
> The title comes from Motionless in White's song "Ghost In The Mirror".

"Beating me down into the ground!"  
\- Koяn (Falling Away From Me)

Morgana was laying in the kitchen, curled up in a ball. She remembered their wedding - Agravaine had seemed to be so kind man. She had been knowing him for almost two years that time. But things have gone wrong... they got married and everything was okay. Then they found his tumour. Testicle cancer. He turned bitter and started to drink. And whenever he got drunk, he beat her up. As the time went by, he didn't have to drink to beat her anymore. When he woke up and she wasn't cooking his breakfast, he beat her with his belt. When she was cooking, he drowned her hand into the boiling water - the breakfast should have been ready, bitch!  
And this time? She forgot to buy beer... or she didn't bear it, because she was pregnant... but Agravaine didn't know and didn't care. He just wanted to punish this stupid cunt. He kept beating her with his belt and kicking. Morgana tried to cover her belly with her hands, so he could kick her face. He ripped her lips at three spots. When he woke up from his frenzy, he just sput on her and left. Morgana laid on the floor among the shards of the plate, crying. She felt the hot blood going down her thighs... miscarriage.  
The only feelings between them were Morgana's fear and Agravaine's contempt. Morgana was tidying up their apartment when Agravaine came. He should have arrived two hours later, thought Morgana. Then she got hit again: "You tidy up this stuff? You can do later. Where's my lunch?" "Darling," started Morgana, "you were supposed to come later. I didn't start yet..." the moment she got slapped: "Don't tell me what am I or am I not supposed to do!", yelled Agravaine, beating Morgana with his belt again. The metal brace cut deep wounds into Morgana's hands she rose to cover her face. "I'm going to the pub, 'cause my wife is unable to make me a fucking dinner when I come back from my job I do my best to pay for her!" Then he turned towards Morgana: "And I hope she will clean up this mess she made!" With this Agravaine punched Morgana's face and his fist broke her nose. Morgana cried. She needed to calm herself down. She took her cigar and sat in front of the house. She slowly inhaled the smoke, burning the throbbing wounds within her mouth. Agravaine returned. "I forgot my..." he spotted her cigar. A second later Morgana's head hit the wall and she was dragged inside: "I told you to break this habit. I hate it!" Few forcible kicks, then Agravaine grabbed his wallet and left.  
Morgana knew she gained some time - he'll be gone for two hours... at least. If I stay, he will kill me one day, thought Morgana. Or make me pregnant and kill my baby again. I can't allow him. And here's the chance. Morgana took a suitcase and started packing. He didn't allow her much possessions, so she was ready soon... her clothes, six books, her notepad with poems. Then she opened his drawer. ₤ 700 000. She never gained a penny. When her body was bruised and scarred too much, he just called to her employer and said she's not comin' back. But we're married, thought Morgana. Half of this money is mine. With this she grabbed ₤ 250 and left the building. She ran to the railway station. There she sat and started to think. A cigar helped. The smoke was caressing Morgana's lips, but it also hurt her wounds. It helped her not to come back. She has to remember what happened.  
Morgana bought a ticket and boarded the train. When I get out, she thought, I will be 700 miles far from Agravaine. With this happy thought she fell asleep... it was her first calm sleep in last seven years.  
When Morgana woke up, the train was standing in a village. Morgana thought for a while... when I'm in a small town, there's less people to hide among... but he won't seek me here... he'll expect me to run to some bigger city. Morgana couldn't decide.

When Agravaine came home and didn't find Morgana, he went mad. I will find her, he thought, and then I'll beat the shit outta her. He didn't check money - he expected her to be too scared to dare... so she won't get far.  
Morgana left the train. Roseville extended in front of her. Morgana headed towards the center, where people crowded at the market. Morgana sat on her suitcase and mourned. When a tall blonde with a basket came to her, she quickly wiped tears out of her eyes. "Buy some peaches, ma'am?" Morgana suddenly wanted a peach like never before. "Six, please. Could I ask you something about this town?" Morgause sat next to Morgana and started to talk. Morgana didn't know Morgause likes her... but she felt strange.  
Agravaine went to the railway station. They remembered his stupid little refugee quite well. Well, thought Agravaine, I'll bang these stupid ideas outta your head, bitch. Let's go... Amitee, Gonda Town, Treefork Jane, Roseville, Rose Creek, St. Wulfric. She'll be somewhere on the road... and I'll seek every single fucking rathole to find her and make her obey again.  
At the end of the day Morgause offered Morgana sleeping in her caravan. She had nowhere to go, so she agreed.

Morgana was cooking. Morgause's help felt kinda... like if she didn't deserve it. Morgana noticed Morgause still touches her somehow. Finally Morgause stood behind Morgana's back and hugged her. Morgana wasn't used to such behaviour... But she understood she wants Morgause. When their lips met, Morgana realized she tastes like a peach. Morgana winced. "Agravaine will kill me... I left him." "Why did you stay so long?" Morgana thought why did she marry him... her parents wanted her to... and when they died in that road accident, she wasn't strong enough to tell him she doesn't like him... and then his cancer came and he just battered and abused her... "I never wanted...", cried Morgana. "I hated when he entered me..." "So why did you allow him?" asked Morgause. Morgana bit her scarred, wounded lip... "He always beat me up." Morgana hated him suddenly... she hated him for her stillbirth. She hated him for she had to leave the job she loved... she hated everything about him. Morgause softly kissed her shivering lips: "You tremble." Morgana raised her eyes: "It's okay. Thank you," she whispered.  
Agravaine left the train again... she cannot be far. Two or three towns max. He started to lose control over himself and when he was passing the sign "Welcome to Roseville", he tore it down like an old wall.  
Meanwhile Morgause slowly and carefully removed Morgana's shirt. Her body was bruised and scarred. "It's a miracle you're still alive," gasped Morgause. "Or a curse," replied Morgana. When Morgause kissed her lips and her tongue entered, Morgana's nipples erected. Morgana accepted Morgause's voracious kiss, her mouth being struck into hers so roughly it hurted, the soft, wet, omnipresent tongue, Morgause's hot breath on her lips and fingers slowly crawling up her almost naked thigh... In Morgause's embrace Morgana almost forgot how hopeless her situation was.

Agravaine stopped a teen girl at the market. He grabbed her neck and started his interrogation. Ten minutes later the girl was laying on the ground in the pool of her blood... and Agravaine knew what he wanted to know. She has gone to some fucking slut... well... I'll get 'em - both. No one will take me what is mine! And no fucking dyke will tell my wife to leave me!

Morgana let Morgause's tongue to caress her collarbones. Her fingers tangled into her golden, sweet smelling hair. Morgana kissed that hair. She loved Morgause like she never loved anybody. The kisses were hot as fire and Morgana felt shivers running down her spine. Suddenly the door flew kicked open. The fear cold as ice pierced Morgana's heart and bound her like a freezing razorwire. "You will pay, bitch," whispered Agravaine. But this slowly, darkly hissed hatred chilled Morgana to the core. Agravaine entered the caravan like if he was a train. Morgana stood in a dead end. She heard Morgause yelling at Agravaine something about better leaving, but the blood was rushing through her head. Morgana curled up in a ball and waited for the first strike. But instead a thunder roared. Morgana was shaking. She slowly rose her eyes. Agravaine was standing above her, his eyes beaming with surprise. A crimson poppy bloomed on the left half of his chest. Agravaine dropped to his knees, then he gurgled, a stream of blood appeared in the corner of his mouth and then he finally collapsed on the floor like a bag of bones. Morgana, still paralyzed with shock and dismay slowly looked at Morgause, still holding her smoking .38. Then she just bursted in tears. Morgause dropped the gun and hugged Morgana tightly. "Hush, hush. It's okay. He cannot hurt you anymore. No one will ever hurt you. I will protect you, my darling." Morgana kept sobbing. "I have nowhere to go..." "You can stay here if you won't mind," answered Morgause immediately. "But how can I pay you? I have no job... I haven't been working since he forbade me..." Morgause hugged her tightly. "Hush, hush. What have you been doin' before?" Morgana wiped her tears, but kept sobbing. "I used to...teach literature and... I wrote some stuff... It's like a million years ago..." Morgause kissed Morgana's cheek and whispered into her ear: "Well... my students asked me for a course of creative writing... and I believe they would appreciate studying the underground literature as well."

"I won't let him touch you,  
I love you!"  
\- The Rasmus (Shot)


End file.
